Allen KleinThe Jollytologist®

Up Words for Down Days


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Book Summary:

Over 700 wise, witty and wonderful words to help your spirits soars. Arranged by things that frequently cause stress.

A Note from the Author:
The quotations in this book are sometimes wise, sometimes witty.  But they are always helpful.  When they are wise, they can lend a hand in helping you overcome your tough times.  And when they are witty, they will give you a different view of your solemn situation and nothing, perhaps, gives a better perspective than a good laugh.


Table of Contents

Age & Aging
Anger & Adversity
Change & Challenge
Dating, Marriage & Divorce
Death & Dying
Diet & Exercise
Friends & Family
Health & Healing
Life & Living
Men & Women
Money Matters
Pain & Pleasure
Stress & Burnout
Success & Failure
Time & Technology
Travel Troubles
Work Weary


Sample Quotations

(from Diet & Exercise Chapter)

"Never eat more than you can lift."

Miss Piggy Piggy

"I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because 
they don't require so much cooking."

Carrie Snow

"This recipe is certainly silly.  It says to separate two eggs,
but it doesn't say how far to separate them."

Gracie Allen

"I'm on a seafood diet.  I see food and I eat it."


"I never worry about diets.  The only carrots that interest me
 are the number you get in a diamond."

Mae West

"When I buy cookies I just eat four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad."

Janette Barber

"You do live longer with bran but you spend 
the last fifteen years on the toilet."

Alan King

"My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day
when she was sixty.  She's ninety-seven todayÐ
we don't know where the hell she is. "

Ellen Degeneres

"The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again."

Erma Bombeck

"When I feel like exercising I just lie down 
until the feeling goes away."

Robert M. Hutchins

"I've been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and 
the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet 
where I have been doing the leg lifts."

Rita Rudner

"I joined a health spa recently.  They had a sign for 
"Free Weights." So I took a couple."

Scott Wood


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